"Syllogism... it's a noun... it means, deductive reasoning using major or minor premises and a conclusion... sometimes a crafty argument." - Danny, reading vocab; "Can you repeat the last part?" - All; "Sometimes a crafty argument." - Danny; "Oh, we thought you said crappy argument." - ... Somebody; "Can you use that in a sentence?" - ... Somebody else; "Well, this one can support both definitions. You can say that all the kids in IB are smart, and that there are more girls in IB, and therefore girls are smarter than boys. To girls, this illustrates the first definition, and to boys it illustrates the second one." - Dr. Renfroe; "You mean... a crappy argument?" - Danny (1)

"Believe me, you do not wanna start a war with us." - Danny ; "Especially since we're in Spanish, and we don't do anything in this class anyway." - David (1), while Mrs. V is staring at me

"You'll have to excuse him... he's Italian." - Emily ; "It's not easy being greasy." - Nick (1)

"Turkey sub" - Jack Black in School of Rock

"I have the 16th Pokemon ever created." - Feldman

"Comrade Feldman is the dictator of this class." - Tyler ; "Yes, from now on, call me Comrade Dictator." - Feldman ; "How bout just Comrade Dick?" - Danny (1)

"I'm most matured." - Brad ; "Oh, I forgot, it's opposite day." - Jessica (1) ; "Oh, you look so pretty today Jessica!" - Brad (1)

"Just tell her you had to poop." - John (1) giving Jessica an excuse for Mrs. V

"I'm lonely... I'm gonna go check myself for prostate cancer." - Mike (1)

"There are so many Italian things I could do to you right now..." - Nick (1)

"I don't like the other guy." - Pulin ; "Orlando Bloom?" - David ; "Yeah, him... who names their kid after aa city anyway?" - Pulin (1)

"Science can't keep you warm." - Dylan ; "It can if you're Mr. Scott's fiancee." - Emily (1)

"Maybe it was a really smart geese." - Erica (1)

"This one time... at Puritan camp..." - Jordan (1)

"I'm not making fun of Eminem. There are too many words that rhyme with Rock." - Chris Rock

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were talking to me. I was busy drinking some contraband." - Danny (1) to Mrs. V

"All he had was gel. I'm like, I can't work with this. He didn't even have a hairdryer. Who does that? I thought about just asking to borrow a hat. Then he offered me a change of clothes and I'm like... mmm... I think I'll just wear what I had on." - Nick (1) talking about spending the night at Danny's

"I lost my train of thought." - Mrs. V ; "You were talking about Spanish." - Brad (1)

"Si... nosotros... tenemos... la palabra... correcta... pero... no tenemos... el... ... accento mark... can we still get half credit?" - Brad (1) ; "No." - Mrs. V ; "How about full credit?" - John (1)

"Some people are tall and merciless. Quincy is destroying San Antonio." - Strong Bad

"Pretend that you are white." - Mr. Bunton

"Patriots are the Americans, right?" - Rebecca (1)

"Ask him what the measure of his man is." - Tyler (1)

"Thank you interrupter Jones. That is also my egg." - Strong Bad

"David, you've been asking for a referral for the past 2 weeks. Mr. ... Comrade Feldman, may I please have a referral today? No, David, I'll try again tomorrow." - Feldman

"Some Greenpeace guy called for my roommate... I told him he was on a whaling expedition." - Mr. Harper

"Who knows what 'gall' is?" - Dr. Renfroe; "Isn't it... France?" - Walker (1) ; "No... I think it's a bird." - David Page (1)

"Is there a hyphen in carpet-muncher?" - Danny (1)

"I'll have eggs with a side of orgy." - Jordan (1)

"My sandals smell like fish." - Brad ; "Really? Do you wash your feet?" - Danny ; "No... but like..." - Brad ; "Hahaha! Well, were you walking around a harbor yesterday?" - Danny ; "It's from the water outside, retard!" - Brad ; "Well there aren't fish in the water." - Danny ; "It could be fishwater." - Brad (1)

"What are you doing?" - Danny ; "Drying my sandals." - Brad ; "Oh... I thought you were practicing your Nazi wave." - Danny (1)

"El no es inteligente." - Brad referring to Danny ; "Hey! I'm Italian." - Darby

"It's not like breaking the hole punch will cause the class to fall apart. Now, burning the Triangulo books... that could do it. And that's starting to look pretty good right now." - Danny (1)

"No talking during orals!" - Mrs. V ; "What, is that like a general rule?" - Danny (1)

"They're French Puerto-Ricans... Fuerto-Ricans!" - Brad (1)

"See, Nori's laugh... its their code." - Jordan N (1); "Ha! Hey, that would be a good code!" - Nori (1)

(laugh) - Nori; "See, that was C!" - Jordan N (1)

"I HEAR VOICES!" - Mrs. V

I just hope there was one gay settler back in the 17th century. He would have went to Vermont and said, 'Hey you guys, you don't want this right? OK, I'll take it.' He was responsible for early pilgrim fashion. At least let me think that there was at least one. - Nick (1)

"We're AP readers... we have no hearts." - Dr. Renfroe

"Dictionaries are the worst places to go for definitions." - Mr. Feldman

"Look Walker, Amir doesn't seem to be having any trouble with these questions." - Mr. Mackay giving out a quiz with questions about Harvard, Yale, etc.; "Well, that's because he's already applied to those colleges." - Walker (1)

"Danny... you're friends with Rebecca, right?" - Mr. Mackay

"OK, well, say she said 'It was a nice day in the clouds with Phyllis.' Now, she definitely wasn't physically in the clouds with Phyllis, but in her mind she was. So she is using reason to determine... um... this is a really bad example." - Kutch (1)

"Is it possible that I am a toaster?" - Mr. Feldman

"Hah, since you ate a yellow one, it'll reduce your sperm count." - Brad; "Aw man, that'll really spoil my plans tonight." - Alex W (1)

"Please let it be what did you do over summer break." - Emily (1) about an essay

"Has anybody seen that guy who's really Jewish? Oh, there you are." - Emily (1) to Seth

"Have you lived anywhere toher than Jacksonville?" - Jessica; "Um, St. Augustine, Nebraska..." - Jordan; "Baghdad?" - Jessica; "No, I mean, yeah, Baghdad." - Jordan; "Yeah, she lived there when she was visiting Djibouti." - Emily (1)

"You don't already know?" - Allen (1) in response to Gail's "Let's see how far I can stick this down my throat" quote

"So the Europeans brought the diseases with them?" - Rebecca; "No, they left them at home." - Nori (1)

"I like em hard." - Jordan's mom on binders

"My boobs aren't big!" - Anna Robson

(laugh) - Nori (1)

"Well, when we gave the diseases to the Indians, it's a good thing it happened when it did, because it could have been a lot worse later on." - David Page; "So we did them a favor..." - Mr. Mackay; "Aww, that was mean. Now Danny has a new hero." - Jordan (1)

"You must've been really easy to babysit when you were about 4. Bedtime... YAY! Vegetables... YAY!" - Emily (1) to Nori

"It doesn't matter if it's a girl, because they won't hit on you." - Brad; "Sure, and you can get off on that." - Danny (1); "I didn't say that." - Brad; "That's what you meant." - Danny; "But it's not what I said." - Brad (1);

"So Mrs. ______________, I heard that you were the reigning champion of a deepthroat contest" - Mike (2), because he said it to his/her face

"Let's see how far I can stick this down my throat." - Gail (1)

"I don't guess good... I know good!" - Brad (1)

"I don't know what I answered. I just haphazardly circled things. Well, I looked at it. I took educated guesses." - John (1)

"I have a really long middle finger." - Danny; "Oh my god! It's like... E.T. long." - Brad (1); "Do you have E.T. toes too?" - Alex W (1)

"Dammit, I didn't write in pen. I haven't written an essay right so far this entire freakin year." - Danny (1)

"This is a quiz? Are you shitting me? Oh. Good thing I didn't ask you what number 2 was." - Danny (1)

"STINY! Get me a danish!" - Strong Bad

"I'm out like Elton John." - Sam (1)

"Somebody's knockin! And it's me!" - Troup

"I shouldn't have to tell you guys to be quiet 3 million times." - Mrs. V; "But, you only told us twice." - Danny; "We're rounding to the nearest 3 million." - David (1)

"My cousin was the only person in Georgia to get a 1 on the AP." - David Page; "Wait, did everybody else get higher or lower?" - Rebecca (1)

"Wait, A is true and B is false... right?" - Rebecca (1)

"I was just talking to Nick. That's why I'm confused." - Jordan (1)

"She should date Brad." - Jordan (1) referring to the girl that ran into the door; "Yeah, too bad she's not a man." - Danny (1); Chris (1) cries laughing

"Will you be my husband? I DO. Will you be my wife? I DO." - Brad (1)

"Spot is a libro, is a libro, is a libro." - Danny (1)

"Presidential... is that... like... presidents?" - Julia

"Wow, those are some diverse commercials. First, the 30 greatest nude scenes video, and then a cartoon network commercial." - David (1) "And they both appeal to teenagers." - Brad (1) "Yeah... except I don't like cartoons." - Danny (1)

"It shoots out at 15 mph." - Jordan (1) explaining reproduction to Jessica ; "But what if it hits me in the eye?" - Jessica (1)

"If 5 gay guys came in my house, I'd just run out the back door." - Danny ; "But how can you, if that's the way they're going in?" - Brad (1); "What? I don't get it." - Danny

"Ooh, you're in the bitch seat." - Jordan (1) to Danny ; "Well, at least I'm not in the road head seat." - Danny (1)

"I know when I have to pee. I get pee chills." - Nick (1); "What time is it?" - David ; "4:20" - Nick ; "4:18" - Jordan ; "Oh, sorry." - Nick ; "Yeah, believe me. I know when it's 4:20. Like, you know how you get pee chills? I get 4:20 chills." - Jordan (1)

"Oh, I've seen this before." - Danny (1) during the gay scene in Cruel Intentions

"And which button tells your mom to come pick you up?" - Triumph at a Star Wars convention

"No, I wanted to sit behind the Miller Lite truck for 2 more days." - Danny (1) recorded and played back 50+ times

"I sound like a little girl." - Danny (1) recorded and played back 50+ times

"I have to be able to move like a cheetah. A law-enforcement cheetah." - Lt. Jim Dangle on Reno 911

"Oh, not on the pool table." - Danny while watching American Pie "THAT'S why you want one so bad Danny." - Jordan (1)

"I know absolutely nothin about baseball. All I know is there's a ball and if somebody throw the ball, if you hit it, FINE!" - Troup

"They meant what? They meant business." - Troup

"You dig it out of the ground, and you eat it and it heals all yo diseases." - Troup referring to clay in Georgia

"Troup, yohasonfa!" - Troup

"Are you telling me they were jews?" - Troup referring to Muslims

"They was eatin my tomatoes, MY tomatoes." - Troup

"You know they was all smoked up and whatever" - Troup

"Whatever whatever whatever" - Troup

"And Mr. Shreve come runnin down the hall yellin, 'Turn on the TV; they bombin the buildins.' And I came in and said, 'They bombin the buildins!' And you all were laughin. I told my daughter about it how you all were laughin and she said, "Ooooh." - Troup

"If they said, Troup, you gettin on a plane you goin on a suicide mission no... no." - Troup

"We are the nimber one country in the United States" - Troup

"Chelsea, now, uh, if you keep that head on that desk, then uh, your grades will go, uh, down... like the, uh, prices at, uh, Wal-Mart." - C.L. Smith

"That's why he doesn't hang out with us very much." - David (1), as Sunil jumps in the pooland splashes everyone

"I hate skateboards. Everybody who rides them are assholes." - Danny "Wait. Did you just say, everybody who rides on my assholes?" - Jordan (1)

"My lemon is stuck." - Nick (1)

"Hey, I know where you sleep." - Jordan "Yeah, at his house." - Nick (1), referring to Brent

"I never watched Survivor. I mean, if I wanted to see a fat naked gay guy I'd look in the mirror." - Some Comedian

"Nick, you use everything loosely." - Alex W (1)

"Look mashed potatoes, there's only gonna be one winner here tonight." - Jordan (1)

"I've been staring at that tuba all night." - Jordan (1)

"Is this the end you hit it with?" - Brad (1) holding a drumstick the wrong way (You probably had to be there)

Danny: It would be so easy to be a pirate on this boat. All: (Awkward silence) Danny: Seriously. Who's gonna notice? We're in the middle of the river. They can't just call 911. Uh, hello? Police? We're in the the middle of a river... in North... America... Brad: Who's gonna notice? Everybody else in their boats. Danny: Well, what are they gonna do? Emily: Besides, it's not like people carry their valuables on a boat. Danny: Well, they might have a nice watch. Brad: A watch? Why don't you just steal the boat? David: Yeah, and leave your boat. That wouldn't work unless you had like, 20 other pirates and you spread from boat to boat. Emily: And people aren't just gonna let you on their boat and let you steal stuff. And even if you do they're not just gonna go, ok, see you later. Have a nice day. They wouldn't let you on the boat in the first place. David: You could be like, can I use your bathroom? Danny: Like the people whose cars just happen to break down in front of your house.

Danny: 1 Brad: 1 David: 1 Emily: 1

"I mean, if I had a twin brother, I wouldn't tell anybody about him either." - Emily (1)

"Hold on just a second so I can try to fit my hand in this nipple thing." - Emily (1)

"They might start doing mammograms at the toll booths. That'll be 2.40 and put your titty right here." - Wanda Sykes

"I was like, I'm not puttin that in my mouth." - Danny (1)

"THAT BITCH!" - Emily (1) upon hearing that J K Rowling wasn't writing any more Harry Potter books after the 7th one

"Hey everybody, let's take off our clothes and look at each other!" - Rebecca (1)

"Jessica knows about sex. Beleive me, I went to middle school with her for 3 years. I know." - Brad (1)

"Yeah, Amir took Chris back to the bathroom. At least you got some free soup." - Nick (1) followed by, "Yeah. What's the soup of the day? Cream of Asian." - Danny (1)

"You know my gag reflexes. Oh do I have a story for you." - Nick (1)

"At our school there was this tall asian kid. Yeah. And he got punched in the face. I think Gail was there then so she'd remember." - Nick followed by, "Did Gail punch him?" - Danny, followed by, "Yes. But first she had to get up on somebody's shoulders." - Nick (1), followed again by, "No, first she had to get up off her knees." - Danny (1)

"She IMed me one time and was having a sleepover with some friends. And then after we talked for a while she goes, 'We're all so horny.' So I was like, um, yeah, well I gotta go." - Danny (1)

"I asked my sister if I could check my e-mail but she didn't let me. I'm like, all I have to do is click the mailbox and scroll down. And if I see something that wants to enlarge my penis, I delete it. Or leave it for my sister. Nah, it's big enough already." - Danny (1)

"Well, I mean, I set him up. It was good teamwork." - Nick (1), referring to Danny's cream of asian joke

"If Jason Mraz is Dave Matthews spawn, then I'm his mother." - Emily (1)

"Well, I've got ten thousand yen. Guess I'll buy some bread." - Ryan (1)

"Can't you just swallow it?" - Danny (1), followed by "I don't know; It might kill you." - Ryan (1)

"That would make me want to be a gay man." - Emily (1)

"Why yo legs so hairy?!?!" - Random girl at Adventure Landing referring to Nick.

"Where you get yo braces done?" - Random girl at Adventure Landing

"OOOOOH, MY BOOTY COLD!" - Random girl at Adventure Landing

"I almost peed myself. Twice! Once because it was so funny and twice because I almost peed myself." - Kate (1)

"Who does that?" - Jordan (1), Emily (1), and Nick (1) interchangeably

"Do you know where Lauren Marino is?" "No... but I want to." - Ryan (0) and Tyler (1)

"We don't need 26 letters. We don't need 26 anything." - Ryan (1)

"Poof! I'm the devil!" - Brad (1)

"We saw Mr. Wrenn and his boyfriend. They were gonna Bend it Like Beckham." - Emily (1)

"Mr. Heggood, can we duct tape Brad's mouth shut?" "Yes we can!" - Jack (1) and Ethan (1)

"Hey! It's opposite day! Haha! Mike sux! With an X of course!" - Mike (1)

"Don't take my picture; I look like a lesbian today." - Mrs. Shinn

"This battery here? That battery there. Which battery, where?" - Me (0), Kellen (0), and Neal (0)

"Who wants to commit a hate crime?" - Danny (1)

"Sorry, I didn't read the homosexual newsletter this week." - Danny (1)

"David! Trashcan! Now! I hate you!" - Kellen (1)

"Better be careful where you're stickin your parallels." - Mr R. Smith

"Well, if you use your left hand, it's kind of like another person." - Nick (1)

"Yo mama is so communist, she believes in redistribution of wealth." - Jon Stewart

"Pansy cars!" - Danny (1)

"What kind of country is it when 4 hippes and a talking dog can't catch fake ghosts and werewolves with the occasional help of Phyllis Diller and the Harlem Globetrotters" - Tim Robbins as Shaggy

"No, fighting robots made this network great." - Jon Stewart

"Mike rox!" - Mike (0)

"Stifler's house of love, uh, straight love." - Sean William Scott in American Pie 2

"I think Gabriella was Asian in another life." "Yeah, smart, talented, and... not funny." - David (1) and Nick (1)

"This looks like a hat for a man on a mission. You know, like, a mailman." - Alex P (1)

"Is it just me or do you want me?" - Jordan (1)

"Brad, you left this at my house, I washed it for you." - Nick (1)

"It's funny because I'm confused." - Brad (1)

"This song doesn't make any sense. Child support! Food stamps! Dick suck! Move bitch, get out the way! Baby momma! Gonna kill your ass! Move bitch, get out the way!" - Danny (1)

"You are the glue that makes this class high." - Annie (1)

"Mike, if I didn't answer any questions about devil orgies, what makes you think I'll answer any about regular old premarital sex?" -Mr. Heggood

"I don't do drugs, I'm just stupid!" - Brad (1)

"Brad, you're a sissy girl." - Jack (1)

"Why are you wearing sunglasses, it's winter!" - Susan (0)

"This is gonna take a lot of egotistical boasting to make up for!" - Mike (1)

"AOL has 8 versions! Version 8.0 and they still can't control spam. Version 8.0 and they're still trying to reduce my mortgage and enlarge my penis. - Jon Stewart

"For those of you who don't 'habla espanol', 'el nino' is spanish for, the nino!" - Chris Farley

"I wouldn't walk 500 miles when I could fly coach, but almost anything." - NOFX

"Well, why don't you erase all those naked pictures of your mom!" - Mr. Heggood

"Oh yeah, Ben's Jewish!" - Brad (1)

"PaRAbola, or paraBOla if you're putting the accent on the wrong sylLAble." - Mrs. Dickson

"Austin, you're worse than jock itch." - Mr. R. Smith

"We like the Egyptians" - Mr. R. Smith

"I'm dumb, she's a lesbian, thought I had found the one; We were good as married in my mind, but married in my mind's no good." - Weezer

"Sticky children, that's no fun; Hany wipes for everyone!" - Brad (1)

"Grr. I hate Garfield. Who the fuck would have an orange cat?!?!" - Danny (1) imitating Kellen